I have been going back and forth as to whether or not to post this but
something just keeps telling me too so here it is.
One of the biggest personal struggles I deal with is comparing myself
to others. I find myself asking why others have nicer homes or cars, or why
their home is always perfect. Well I might not be able to cure my insecurities,
but I definitely have learned to be grateful for everything I do have. These past
2 months have taught me that. Here is a rundown of the roller coaster my
husband and I have been on.
On March 26th 2015, we found out we were pregnant. We had
been trying for a few months, so I had a few tests in the bathroom. That
evening I was taking Karl for a run and my boobs were killing me. I decided to
take a test, even though it was a few days before my missed period. The only
ones I had in my bathroom were the ones with the + symbol, so I peed on the
magic stick and waited. We got a clear line and a very fainted other line. After
Chad and I both examined the stick, I decided to run to Walmart to get a
digital one that clearly states Pregnant or NOT Pregnant. After the initial
excitement, the fear settled in.
On April 5th 2015, we were driving home from Dallas after
visiting our friends and shopping for furniture. It had been raining all night
so the roads were really slick. We just got out of Dallas, when we hydroplaned
and hit the concrete barrier, totaling our car. Luckily, we were able to position
the car for a side impact causing us to not be injured. I was terrified that we
had just lost our baby. I truly believe the good Lord was looking out for us
and our little nugget. The 2.5 of us walked away unharmed.
On May 9th 2015, Karl started to get
really sick. He started throwing up and not being able to eat or drink. He
continued this into Sunday, so we ran to the vet. They gave him an anti-vomit
shot and we went home. Later that night he threw up again, which prompted us to
return to the vet on Monday. He stayed there until Tuesday and then, after
sending results to a specialist, they had us go to a 24 hour clinic where they
performed surgery. As they were going through our estimate on surgery, they
asked us if they were allowed to perform CPR if he was turning south. I
immediately lost it, just the idea of this being a possibility. We dropped him
off on May 12th at 8:30 and they called us at 1:00am telling us
everything went great. He ended up eating a piece of carpet or pieces (looks
like we’re investing in hardwood floors now) it was stuck 4 inches from his
colon. He almost passed it but it was pulling some intestines along with it, so
they ended up having to take out 5 inches of his bowel. We are so grateful that
he is now ok and they were able to get it out. We picked him up on May 14th
2015.
(Karl after he got home from the hospital, he was happy to be home)
On May 12th 2015, I went into work early since I couldn’t
sleep. On my way to work I hit a raccoon. It was literally the size of a baby bear
cub, this thing was huge. Apparently it had a coat of armor on too, because it
did pretty good damage to my NEW car.
These past 2 months have been rough and challenging but they have also
made us stronger, not only individually but as a couple as well. It’s so easy
to blame your spouse or to take it out on them for everything that’s going on,
but they are going through just as much. We show emotions in so many different
ways. Even though he’s not crying because our (fur)baby is in the hospital,
doesn’t mean he’s not nervous or worried or scared just as much as you are. It also
doesn’t mean they don’t love them any less either. I mean it’s a good thing at
least one of us is strong, could you imagine if both of us were bawling our
eyes out when we had to say good night to Karl before surgery? Life throws us
all sorts of challenges no matter who you are, it’s how you deal with them that
matters. We are definitely crossing this bump(mountain) in the road but it’s a
lot easier when you have a positive out take on it. No matter how low this
point can be, it could always be worse than what it is. I am grateful for a man
that is strong for me and for his family, I’m grateful for our health and
knowing our little fur baby and human baby are ok. I’m grateful that we have
worked hard over the years to save up for emergencies, like these, so that
finances don’t add additional stress to an already stressful series of events.
And above all else, I’m grateful for the love of our heavenly Father who is
always looking out for us.
