Learning to be grateful

I have been going back and forth as to whether or not to post this but something just keeps telling me too so here it is.

One of the biggest personal struggles I deal with is comparing myself to others. I find myself asking why others have nicer homes or cars, or why their home is always perfect. Well I might not be able to cure my insecurities, but I definitely have learned to be grateful for everything I do have. These past 2 months have taught me that. Here is a rundown of the roller coaster my husband and I have been on.

On March 26^th 2015, we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying for a few months, so I had a few tests in the bathroom. That evening I was taking Karl for a run and my boobs were killing me. I decided to take a test, even though it was a few days before my missed period. The only ones I had in my bathroom were the ones with the + symbol, so I peed on the magic stick and waited. We got a clear line and a very fainted other line. After Chad and I both examined the stick, I decided to run to Walmart to get a digital one that clearly states Pregnant or NOT Pregnant. After the initial excitement, the fear settled in.

On April 5^th 2015, we were driving home from Dallas after visiting our friends and shopping for furniture. It had been raining all night so the roads were really slick. We just got out of Dallas, when we hydroplaned and hit the concrete barrier, totaling our car. Luckily, we were able to position the car for a side impact causing us to not be injured. I was terrified that we had just lost our baby. I truly believe the good Lord was looking out for us and our little nugget. The 2.5 of us walked away unharmed.

On May 9^th 2015, Karl started to get really sick. He started throwing up and not being able to eat or drink. He continued this into Sunday, so we ran to the vet. They gave him an anti-vomit shot and we went home. Later that night he threw up again, which prompted us to return to the vet on Monday. He stayed there until Tuesday and then, after sending results to a specialist, they had us go to a 24 hour clinic where they performed surgery. As they were going through our estimate on surgery, they asked us if they were allowed to perform CPR if he was turning south. I immediately lost it, just the idea of this being a possibility. We dropped him off on May 12^th at 8:30 and they called us at 1:00am telling us everything went great. He ended up eating a piece of carpet or pieces (looks like we’re investing in hardwood floors now) it was stuck 4 inches from his colon. He almost passed it but it was pulling some intestines along with it, so they ended up having to take out 5 inches of his bowel. We are so grateful that he is now ok and they were able to get it out. We picked him up on May 14^th 2015.

(Karl after he got home from the hospital, he was happy to be home)

On May 12^th 2015, I went into work early since I couldn’t sleep. On my way to work I hit a raccoon. It was literally the size of a baby bear cub, this thing was huge. Apparently it had a coat of armor on too, because it did pretty good damage to my NEW car.

These past 2 months have been rough and challenging but they have also made us stronger, not only individually but as a couple as well. It’s so easy to blame your spouse or to take it out on them for everything that’s going on, but they are going through just as much. We show emotions in so many different ways. Even though he’s not crying because our (fur)baby is in the hospital, doesn’t mean he’s not nervous or worried or scared just as much as you are. It also doesn’t mean they don’t love them any less either. I mean it’s a good thing at least one of us is strong, could you imagine if both of us were bawling our eyes out when we had to say good night to Karl before surgery? Life throws us all sorts of challenges no matter who you are, it’s how you deal with them that matters. We are definitely crossing this bump(mountain) in the road but it’s a lot easier when you have a positive out take on it. No matter how low this point can be, it could always be worse than what it is. I am grateful for a man that is strong for me and for his family, I’m grateful for our health and knowing our little fur baby and human baby are ok. I’m grateful that we have worked hard over the years to save up for emergencies, like these, so that finances don’t add additional stress to an already stressful series of events. And above all else, I’m grateful for the love of our heavenly Father who is always looking out for us.