Date your Spouse

As I mentioned yesterday, we have only been married for 8 months but I have learned a few things in this short amount of time. I have always been interested in the topic of love and marriage. Especially recently since our church is going through a new series called Love Song and our pastor has even written a book about marriage called; “From this day Forward” You can pick a copy up here.

Here are a few things I have learned about marriage

1.       Do things your spouse wants to do even if you don’t. I’m not a big “going to the movies” kind of person. In fact we have Netflix just so we don’t have to go watch it on the big screen. But my husband loves to go to the movies, so sometimes I have to suck up my pride and do it for him.

2.       Pick your battles. If you just fought about him coming home too late 5 minutes ago, it’s probably not a good time to bring up the “You never do the dishes” fight.

3.       Never say Never. Chad hates it when I say the word “Never” during a fight, sometimes it just comes out and then I realize too late. If you read the our pastor’s book he talks about fighting fair which also means do not do things just to start a fight, don’t say the word Never.

4.       Sometimes you just need to lay on the couch with your significant other. The to-do’s lists can wait. Spend time just watching tv or cuddling with your spouse.

5.       Be open about going to counseling. Chad and I went to our pre-marital counseling through a therapist and although the therapist wasn’t for us we did decide to go back for check-ups. We have gone for a 6 month checkup and we will go again for a year checkup. There isn’t any trouble in paradise for us but we believe that it’s good to discuss things before there is a major problem. Fail-proofing our marriage is what I like to call it.

6.       Forgive and Forget. This is probably my biggest struggle, I can forgive but I don’t forget very easily. When it comes to marriage it’s important to not bring up past arguments during current arguments just to make yourself look good and the other person bad. Now if you have argued about the dishes before and they still aren’t being done, I think it’s ok to bring it up again. Chad always disagrees with me on this one.  (Yes I have mentioned dishes twice now. Can you figure out what the biggest argument is?). And by the way, if the dishes are your biggest argument you’re doing alright.

7.       Praise each other in public. We will be at a friend’s house and I might be having a disagreement with one of our friends. I may be completely wrong but Chad will back me up 100%. He might tell me in the car that I was completely wrong but in front of people he always has my back

8.       Learn each other’s love language. I am a huge fan of the 5 love languages, just ask my husband. He gets sick of me talking about it or referencing it during arguments. I honestly think the man who wrote the book is a complete genius. My husband’s love language is Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. Physical Touch is easy it’s the Words of Affirmation that I’m not too good with but I’m working on it.